Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts

Monday, June 11, 2012

The Men of Austen: Edmund Bertram


While the women of Jane Austen’s books are undoubtedly the main characters, the plots would not make it very far without the role of the male characters.  So here continues my incomplete series on the men of Austen.

Let’s talk about Edmund.  He is supposed to be the hero of Mansfield Park.  The kind, chivalrous, moral compass of the rag tag cast.  My Book Club buddy Kayla asked earlier in our reading if Edmund was too good to be true.  After finishing the book, I would say yes.  He reminds me of cotton candy- pretty and sweet, but has a bitter aftertaste and is all fluff when you really need something of substance.

Edmund and Fanny Price, our “heroine”, were raised as brother and sister from an early age.  He is described as her only advocate, the only one who shows any care for her wellbeing or respect for her worth.  Austen tells us, “Edmund’s friendship never failed her.”  He consistently builds her up, and after describing her qualities, said, “I do not know any better qualifications for a friend and companion.”  He defends her to his family, sees to her needs when she is being ignored, and encourages her to see her own value.  He calls her “the perfect model of a woman.”

Yet despite all of this, who does he fall in love with?  Who is the “only woman in the world whom he could ever think of as a wife”?

Mary Crawford.

Mocking, manipulative, materialistic Mary Crawford.  She vocally wishes that Edmund had more money.  Multiple times she speaks her mind against his decision to become a clergyman.  She makes fun of his career and belittles the role of faith in daily life.  At one point, she basically wishes his older brother Tom dead so that he can inherit Mansfield.  She does not support him or share his beliefs.  She rarely speaks to him without mocking him in some way.  And yet, she is who he wants to marry.

I just don’t understand.  The same man who thought, “Fanny was worth it all; he held her to be worth every effort…” doesn’t actually want her for himself.  He encourages her to give Henry Crawford a chance, even though his morals are highly suspect and she feels nothing for him.  No matter, Edmund has a plan and he sticks to it- that is, until his sister runs off with Henry, messing everything up.

Low and behold, he can’t have Mary.  So whose shoulder does he cry on? Fanny’s.  Who consoles him and acts as a voice of reason?  Fanny.  Who does he find to be beautiful and indispensable?  Fanny.  Who appreciates and supports his calling as a clergyman?   Fanny.

So who does he marry?  Fanny.  But instead of feeling triumph and satisfaction at the end of this book, I was annoyed.  Fanny is not my favorite Austen character, but I can’t help but be defensive for her.  The one man who had advocated for her to stop being treated like a doormat her whole life, ends up using her as a doormat himself.
 
Clearly, I am no Edmund Bertram fan, but maybe I shouldn’t have read Emma first.  Mr. Knightly has ruined me forever. :)

Saturday, January 21, 2012

If you can't submit as a wife, submit to be a nurse

"A woman of seven-and-twenty," said Marianne, after pausing a moment, "can never hope to feel or inspire affection again, and if her home be uncomfortable, or her fortune small, I can suppose that she might bring herself to submit to the office of a nurse, for the sake of the provision and security of wife." 
~Marianne Dashwood, Sense and Sensibility
Before you yell at me about writing in my book (and messily, at that) please note that this is a $5 B&N copy, of which something has been spilled on.  A family library classic it is not.  I just might write another post about some of the comments in my margins.
Yes, I know that this book is from a different era.
Yes, I know that Marianne Dashwood is a ridiculous teenager.
Yes, I know that Jane Austen was making social commentary, not stipulating cultural truths.

But, as a twenty-six year old, I take offense.  Apparently, by my next birthday, I can expect to "never hope to feel or inspire affection."  True?  Not so much.  However, it does hit a soft spot in many a single girl's heart.  

I never aspired to be a career woman.
I never aspired to plan a life for only one.
I never aspired to still be waiting.

While I admit that it is hard to now have more married friends than single friends, to have to constantly answer questions about my singleness, and to hear comments like, "You need to get a move on that!", I know that this is a season that I need to live out to the fullest.

I'll spare you the multiple platitudes that I have heard about singleness, and stick to one truth: God's ways are far better than ours.  I would not for one moment presume to think that I could plan, organize, or design better than Him, so why do I fight to plan, organize, and design my own life?  He is the Author of it, after all.

So I will wait.  And if I am still waiting on my 27th birthday, I will meet it with joy, knowing that the path laid before me will be ordained by a Creator who loves me and will never ask me to settle for something less than His plan.

Take that, Marianne.

And, in closing, I only hope that I am as happy as the Palmers.


"Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare." ~Psalm 40:5

~Katie

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Been chewing on this lately...

"You shouldn't be looking for a finished statue, but a great block of marble...you want to be in love with who you see that person becoming." - Tim Keller.


And unfortunately, unlike Emma and Elizabeth, most are not the finished statues that Mr. Knightly and Mr. Darcy were.